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Wondrous Beauty
Living From Within
Okay, Plan C ♠ 
4th-Jun-2006 08:44 pm
Water angel
Now I'm have a plan C. Talking to April helped me with this. ^_^ I plan to get a job, save enough money, and get the hell out of here! Living with unsupportive parents is hell. My whole family (extended and immediate) can't help me, they really don't want to. Anyway, being on my own is the best way for me to survive right now. The people that I live with are trying to kill me so, I need to leave!

The only problems that I will have are getting therapy several months from now and also going to school later. Hm...I attended IU and really want to go back so, maybe I could get an apartment in Indiana. If I get enough money to move, then I'll worry about transportation later. I am in dire need of therapy and medication...no joke. My delusions are starting to intensify.

I'm also worried about not keeping a job if I get one. At the last job I had I kept missing days because of being sick all the time. The times I did force myself to go to work I didn't treat the costumers the way I should've (I wasn't a bitch or anything, just wasn't friendly) and I lack focus and concentration (I almost burned a costumer and I damn near made the fire alarm go off).

Urrrh! It'd be perfect if a miracle would happen. Like, hell, if I won the lottery or something. Eh...a high-paying job is more likely to happen.
5th-Jun-2006 05:36 am (UTC)
Sounds like a huge nightmare. I know exactly what unsupportive parents are like, my mom is exactly the same!!!

Paying for college isn't easy either. I had to work 2 jobs while taking classes and trying to keep up in classes just to live in the dorms or apartment. But I had to choose to live with mom or to not live with her. I found that living on my own or in a dorm worked best for me, even with the jobs. It got me away from her complaining or yelling and name calling.

I hope you are able to be happy with whatever your decision is.
(Deleted comment)
7th-Jun-2006 06:38 pm (UTC)
My parents don't believe in depression either. It sucks.
8th-Jun-2006 09:53 pm (UTC) - You can do it girl!
I really believe in you. If you can just get the confidence you need by getting a job and getting out of the house, I'm pretty sure you can keep the job and stand on your own two feet. Being down can have a really big affect on things like job performance, school, etc. I think once you get the freedom you need, you'll have the complete and total capacity to hold on to it, and maintain it.

Maybe the people closest to you don't believe in you as much as they are supposed to. But when you feel like you can't go, remember, there are other people out there that DO believe in you. Use that to give you strength. We'll be here for you as much as we possibly can be.

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