I want to overdose on my sleeping pills so badly. My doctor put me on 5mg, and I eventually increased it to 20mg. Now I want to go to 30mg. I've just been self-destructive and suicidal lately. Things would be better if I would sleep all day or be in a coma. My life really sucks right now. I can't even afford a psychologist, and I really want and need one. I'm out of school and I will soon be without health insurance. My parents don't even want me in the house and I'm not stable enough to get a job. I will try to get a job though. I will try.