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Wondrous Beauty
Living From Within
My Life Stinks 
17th-Jul-2008 12:21 am
Distant Friend-green
For a long time I wanted to call a helpline, just to talk to someone else. I'm not in any danger or anything, I just been feeling down about my entire life, and I don't know if I'm making the right decisions right now. Basically, I feel that my life has fallen apart, and I don't know if I'm picking up the pieces or exacerbating the problem.

Inevitably, I need treatment, but I'm in a position where I can't get it right now. I'm tired of being in such a position. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need a job, but that's not the point. Sometimes I feel like it's better to just end it instead of dealing with this shit over and over and over again. My life is not on track at all, and I'm tired of exhausting all my efforts to make it so. I think that I'm only doing what I can right now, but really that's not enough.

Grrr. I'm sooo sick of feeling this way.
Comments 
(Deleted comment)
17th-Jul-2008 08:00 am (UTC)
That's what I'm afraid of - calling and not being helped since I'm not exactly suicidal. I looked around the net for a bunch of numbers, and some of them seem okay, but I don't know if they'd be willing to listen to me vent. :-S I know Chicago has a number that would refer to me some health centers (which I can't afford right now) and give me some helpline numbers, but I have to check to see if what they're like.

Thanks. :-)
17th-Jul-2008 04:47 pm (UTC)
what is so wrong that your whole future is a shambles! i'm not trying to talk platitudes but to me you're a good and intelligent person with her whole life ahead of her and it could go in any direction you want it to. are you sure you're not being too hard on yourself about this and you could do with a bit more patience and understanding? you've been achieving a lot with dealing with your past emotionally. are you sure these negative thoughts about your current position isn't depression and frustration talking? do you really think that this situation will continue indefinitely? love. x
18th-Jul-2008 08:12 pm (UTC)
Honestly, I think my dad has gotten under my skin. I mean, I've already felt insecure with my current situation, but I was doing okay. Then he comes outta no where and makes me feel worse about it. I can get pretty weak-minded around him. :-(
19th-Jul-2008 07:32 am (UTC)
cool. it's understandable. don't beat yourself up, you are doing great x
19th-Jul-2008 07:38 am (UTC)
PS keep venting on yr journal when u feel shit! if it helps, anyway.
17th-Jul-2008 05:38 pm (UTC)
Its all about distracting yourself and using positive affirmations. My brother told me that working out for a hour once a day could help your mood.
18th-Jul-2008 08:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks :-)
I should definitely put more effort into working out.
18th-Jul-2008 02:22 am (UTC) - Lo siento mucho¡
Espero encuentres solucion a tus problemas te envio un abrazo.
Y creeme te entiendo mucho, un abrazo¡
18th-Jul-2008 08:17 pm (UTC) - Re: Lo siento mucho¡
Gracias chica♥
Espero que encuentro una solución también.
21st-Jul-2008 03:49 am (UTC)
Hey I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling good about your life. I just had a conversation tonight with my friend in the same mood. We talked for two hours. Her child ran away and don't know where he is and her marriage is going down hill and she is feeling all kinds of emotions that she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know if she is coming or going. Talking to friends or if you have a church how about talking to your pastor. I call mine everytime I feel like I am at my end of the rope. Ending your life is a pussy way out. Things are tough right now but maybe next week things will be better. Life is like a roller coaster. You just need to learn how to ride it out. One thing that helps me when I start feeling like my life sucks and not wanting to keep fighting is remembering that there is always someone who has it worse off then you. I work for Children Services and I see kids all the time that go through life being abused my their parents and some pretty badly and they don't give up. You have friends and family members who love you. You have us here at livejournal that love you. Take one day at a time. If you don't like something then try to change it. Even if it is something so small. Take baby steps. Volunteer some place so you can get out and help people, meditate, and write down a few postive things about your life. There is always something postive you just need to find it and it can be something little too. I do that with my daughter. She will say I hate it here. I say tell me two things that you like about the place. She would say nothing. I would say about the food? HOw about the colors? HOw about the way people treat you? At the end of the conversation she would always have at least two things that she found that she like. Think postive. You will get back on track. I feel for you sweetie. I hope you will be able to work this out. Keep writing with livejournal. This is a way of venting. Hugs!!!!
23rd-Jul-2008 08:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks a lot. I'm trying to stay positive, and it gets a little easier each day. :-)
23rd-Jul-2008 09:23 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
at least, if you are sick enough of it, you can stop it. just keep trying and remember that feelings pass - even when it really doesn't feel like they will.
25th-Jul-2008 12:32 am (UTC)
*hugs back*
Thanks, I will have to remember that the feeling will pass. :-)
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