Stephanie (wondrous2) wrote,
Stephanie
wondrous2

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Letting Go

I'm gonna post a blog that my friends can see to let them know what's going on. As open as I am about many of my problems, I rarely speak about them with friends. Since they have an active role in my life why not tell them what's really going on? I tried telling them before, but I didn't know how to convey it in a way that they'd understand, not to mention that I was quite ill (and probably more or less dissociated) at the time when I tried to tell them, and since I'm in the process of recovering I'm gonna put it out there again. This time I'm not looking for any sympathy or even some sort of real acknowledgment. I don't want them to think that I'm trying to deceive them when, in fact, I only leave out the information that directly pertains to my illness for fear of some sort of rejection. I know for a fact that at least a few of them just don't want to deal with it (not that they really have to, but it is something that's affecting my life). Also, I want them to know in case something happens and I have to take off for a while. I don't want them to think that I'm dissin' them or whatever.

So, with that being said, I'm letting go of the *need* to withhold certain info just because some of the people in my life don't want to take me seriously. That's uncomfortable and I don't want to go through recovery like that. Now as far as telling some of my family goes, I'll sugar-coat it a bit just because I don't want to deal with those crazy bitches...lol. No, seriously, they're very fearful and want to brain-wash me into thinking in certain ways, and that's not where I need to go (especially since some of those ways helped to build the foundation of my illness in the first place). I'm in the process of recovering, and I would absolutely love to have a handful of supportive people at my side, but I understand that many people who currently have an active role in my life won't want to help me, and I'm fine with that. I just don't want to hear any negative shit about my life and my recovery process. I'm no longer in a mind-set to put up with such crap, so some people aren't gonna be in my life during this process...
Tags: family, friends, mi, positivity, recovery
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