Stephanie (wondrous2) wrote,

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I'm so incredibly sleepy... I'm in need of a prescription sleep-aid ASAP. I've been sleep-deprived for weeks. It's getting to the point where I can barely function properly. I can't even do the all the writing I plan to do! Anyway...

When I was going through my last bout of depression, my self-esteem suffered quite a bit. It worried me a little, but I also felt that lowering myself would help me to experience some sort of happiness. Well, that's not what I want- lowering myself wouldn't help me do anything but feel even worse, and I want to feel great. I'm glad that I'm seeing how valuable I am. I deserve happiness, not bullshit and pain. I want some ice cream. When I start working, I'm gonna treat myself to a banana split...with three cherries on top :P.

About the job-hunt, that's going pretty well! I've gotten three calls, but I'm turning all of them down XD. About a couple weeks ago, I felt that I should apply to a bunch of places whether I was really interested in them or not. Well...screw that, lol. I'm keeping an open mind, but I don't want to settle for something that I have very little interest in. So, with that being said, I'm gonna continue applying for places that seem to satisfy my preferences.

Yesterday, I became so upset with how things were going. I just thought about all the crap I went through in the past and the crap that I'm around now and got a little angry. Well, I'm not really discouraged or anything; I just want to have a meaningful life, and I'm very anxious about getting it. I can see a lot of wonderful things falling into place, and I'm grateful for that, but it seems that things aren't going quickly enough. I'm sure if I was eating and sleeping more, then I wouldn't be so anxious and moody all the time.

In other news, you guys are great. The little things you guys say, or the advise you give, or the *hugs* you send give me a nice warm feeling♥♥♥. Now, I'm off to shower and then to bed.
Tags: life, misc., positivity
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