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Wondrous Beauty
Living From Within
Blah, blah, blah... 
18th-Jul-2007 08:49 am
I applied for two jobs yesterday. I don't know how I really feel about those jobs, but I applied for them anyway. I'm trying not to be too picky, but I really want something that I'll like. I guess today I'll continue applying...bleh.

I've been so tired lately. I'm tired of everything really. Of course I could use more sleep, but still. Things would be a lot easier if people weren't such assholes. My retarded-ass parents want me to get a job sooo badly just so that I could take care of some of their financial responsibilities. Like I don't have my own shit to take off... My mom said that we may have to move in with her mother since she can't pay all her bills. Now, if that bitch would learn how to manage her money correctly, then she wouldn't be in this situation. I won't even begin to explain how careless this woman is. Also, random people are getting on my nerves, too. Random guys, actually. I wish they would accept the fact that I don't want to do anything with them. I tell them that, but they don't get it. They insist on trying to get with me. Hell, sometimes I tell them that I'm severely mentally ill just so they'll leave me alone, but it doesn't work XD. Saying that I'm gay doesn't work either, lol. And I'm tired of some of my friends, too...

My friends suck. Not all of them (and not any of you guys :P), but the ones who are supposed to be my good friends. At one point, I thought I was expecting too much from them, but I'm not- they just suck. I can understand if they don't want to deal with me when I'm having a severe bout of mental illness, but when they act as if my illness doesn't affect my life at all...what the fuck is that?! They'll act as if I've never been sick and that I'm just making up poor excuses for my "failures." A few days ago, one of these "good friends" upset me quite a bit in relation to this. She is rather judgmental, but I think that she uses that in order to make herself feel better. She didn't have to use me in order to make herself feel better though! I'm not really mad at her... I do feel that what she did was a bit inconsiderate and juvenile, but I wouldn't hold that against her knowing that she's struggling with some things, too. I mean, she can't be a good friend of mine if she continues do shit like that, but I'm gonna excuse her ignorance for now since I don't want to devote any energy to dealing with that.

I really need to attract more positive shit, lol. I got a letter from the IRS about my taxes today. I'm not in trouble or anything, I just don't want to deal with it. I guess today I'll read a book and do some chores. Oh, and I'll probably take a nap, too. Well, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, so I guess I have something to do...how exciting!/sarcasm
18th-Jul-2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
*big hugs*
Good luck with the job applications! I hope you find something you like soon :)
18th-Jul-2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
Thanks, babe!♥
18th-Jul-2007 10:51 pm (UTC)
hope you get a job!!! I went to my mall today and got 14 applications to fill out and take back. I'm hoping at least one of them hire me.

I hate people like that. It's a shame the people you thought were good friends, are the ones that aren't.
19th-Jul-2007 05:17 am (UTC)
I hope that one of 'em will hire ya, too! Good luck!!! Keep me posted :D

Yeah... Honestly, for the past few years, I got the vibe that she wasn't one of my true friends, so I don't really go to her much when I need help or anything anyway.
18th-Jul-2007 10:58 pm (UTC)
I wish you luck in finding a good job that you like doing. It sucks when you end up with one that you totally hate, then end up having to drag yourself there day after day.

Straight guys are total tards- they don't get the meaning of no. They always hear YESYESYES! Those horny little things...

...And yes, I KNOW that *I* suck. I also tend to swallow afterword.

It sounds like you have toxic parents (I sympathize, because I always have too). Is it possible to get an apartment or maybe room with a friend? That may be something to consider once you find a job that you're happy with.

Take care
19th-Jul-2007 05:44 am (UTC)
Yeah, my last job sucked. They over-worked the hell out of me, and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I quit.

I know! lol Straight guys do suck! I mean... Straight guys are tards! I'd date a gay guy, but you know...they're not interested in me, XD lol. And there is nothing wrong with swallowing every now and then ;).

My parents are toxic. I could write a novel on their toxicity. I wish the bastards would be more supportive to me or just leave me alone.
20th-Jul-2007 09:51 am (UTC)

Take the middle groud - date a bi guy instead! (Says the bi guy replying to the comment above ;)

20th-Jul-2007 09:09 pm (UTC)
A guy who knows both sides...awesome! I'd love a guy with an open mind! ;D
23rd-Jul-2007 12:50 pm (UTC)

Open minds are always the best. ;)

19th-Jul-2007 08:56 am (UTC)
Oh, about moving out...
My plan was to save enough money to buy a car and move to IN (I live in IL right now). My university is in IN and I just like IN, so I wanna live there :). Right now, I don't really have anyone I could live with, but I guess that's okay for now...
19th-Jul-2007 03:48 pm (UTC)

*sends uber-big-huggles*

Good luck on the job hunting front. From past experience, I know that looking for a job can turn into a full-time job in and of itself!

(Deleted comment)
20th-Jul-2007 09:49 am (UTC)

*counterhuggles in return*

You're always welcome. ♥

19th-Jul-2007 07:55 pm (UTC)
*uber big huggles back!*

Yeah, I know! I have to get myself up everyday and really work at this job-hunting...job, lol! :) Thanks♥
21st-Jul-2007 01:31 pm (UTC) - HUGNESS
I think it's really great that you are excusing your friends ignorance, as you put it, for the time being. It takes a lot to step out from a situation and see that other people are dealing with stuff too. I know if I made the mistake of saying something stupid once or twice, I would want it to be let go so I don't have to lose a friend.

Though, yeah, if it continued, I'd probably realize that I was being a dumb ass and understand why the person didn't want to be friends any more.

Anywho. Well, I think absolutely everyone would have to NOT be assholes to really help. When it's easy for you to get down, all it really takes is one or two people. And this isn't a perfect world where everyone can not be assholes all at once. So, yeah, it's probably time to take a deep breath, realize that's reality, and give life a tae kwon do kick to the face.

I think we both need to realize that. Because there is always going to be something wrong at any given time, we have to at least push ourselves to ignore the little things going wrong so that some of the time can be spent happy.

Sending love,
21st-Jul-2007 06:51 pm (UTC) - Re: HUGNESS
Thanks, pumpkin♥

...and give life a tae kwon do kick to the face. lol :)
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