December 3rd, 2010

Distant Friend-grey

Depression

I gotta be honest... I've been feeling rather depressed. Not 'a little down on my luck' depressed, but 'close to feeling suicidal' depressed. I stopped seeing my therapist almost six months ago, and I plan to see another one in January. I thought I was handling things well, but I guess I'm not.

My work-life has been stressing me out, my home-life has been stressing me out, and my inability to be happy is stressing me out. I feel myself giving up on things. I've done NaNoWriMo for the past two years and managed to win, but this year I quit at 21k. Although NaNoWriMo is just a silly little writing adventure, I couldn't even do that. I'm going to try to get a new job, but it wouldn't make much of a difference. I'm not qualified to do anything else other than retail, so my chances of getting something new is shot. For two years I have tried to get something new, but I ended up in the same place - just a different location. Do I really need to mention why my home-life sucks? My life just sickens me at this point. Everything about it sickens me.