My mom registered for classes today!!! I'm so happy for her! She wants to obtain a degree, so she could earn more money. That's great, really, REALLY great :).
My mom never told us how much she made because she thinks that we would "count her money," as she says. My youngest sister constantly nags her about us moving from this apartment to a house. My sister also believes that my mom should be able afford this and that, so yeah, my mom doesn't like to tell us her pay since *someone* would do the math and tell her what she can and cannot afford.
My other sister and I snuck into my mom's room yesterday and found her paycheck. Yeah, that is
bad, but we didn't want to resist. At that point I felt really bad for my mom :(. For her to have three kids she makes nothing.
I've been helping her pay two of her bills for the past couple of months since my dad cornered me and tried to make me feel guilty about not helping my mom, and I hated it because I have bills of my own to pay! Today I was going to tell my mom that I would pay that last bill and that was it because I can't really afford my own damn bills at this point. Plus, I felt that it was unfair for me to have to slave all those hours at a job I can no longer stand and have to share my hard-earned money with a bitch who didn't even want to help me several months back (I always tear-up when I think about how cruel my parents were to me at that time).
I feel differently now. I'm willing to share some of my money with her for the time being. I don't know for how long though... When I start attending therapy and start taking meds again (which will probably happen in March or April), then of course I can no longer help. Call me a bitch, but I don't feel bad about that. I'm more or less mentally stable now, but at one point I had almost killed myself-and I didn't even realise that until months later! damn dissociations...
Anyway, I'm proud of her. She knows what she wants and hopefully she'll stick with it and continue to better her life. She says she'll be happier this way, and goddamnit I'm behind her 100%!