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Wondrous Beauty
Living From Within
Wow. 
26th-Nov-2006 04:18 pm
Water angel
My father wants me to start paying off that student loan...LMAO!!!

How the hell are you gonna tell me that you are going to pay for all four years of college and not come through?!! This bastard put me through hell when I was in school. I almost got kicked out because he didn't want to pay the damn tuition! At the very, very last minute (a few days before I got evicted and kicked out of college) my dad decides to take out this huge-ass loan.

The loan was for $28,000, but all I needed was about $18,000 for the year. Personally, I wouldn't have taken out that much. He assumed that the remaining $10,000 would carry over into the next year (I doubt that, but hey). Okay, I got sick and decided to not finish the school year, so I withdrawn. So basically, all I left for my father to pay for was only one semester. Let's do the math... he only has to pay about $9,000 (plus late fees) rather than $72,000 for all four years which he said he was gonna pay for.

Of course, by like my third year of college I was gonna try to pay for half of that year and my fourth year I was gonna try to pay for the whole year, but still, you dumb ass-wipe! You specifically said that you would pay for all my college expenses. I knew that your lousy-ass wasn't gonna pay for all of it, but damn, you don't want to pay for one semester?!! That's really shitty.

It's funny. My family is pretty upset with me for "dropping out" of college. They constantly try to convince me to go back. I'm trying to hold my tongue and not say, "Bitch, do you wanna pay for it?!!," but it's hard. I'm not mentally ready to go back to school anyway. Hell, I'm actually starting to get sick again.

Sheesh. My dad isn't even living with us anymore and he's still making me mad, but I expected that; I knew there was no difference between his being here and his moving out.

Eh. I'm feeling dizzy and tired again. I work too damn much.
Comments 
27th-Nov-2006 11:40 am (UTC) - Don't get sick!
You have to push through sickness. It's one of those symptoms of depression that will totally knock through any progress of getting out of a whole.

I try to pretend like I never get sick. I just make it one of those things that I ignore, unless I can speak/breath/stand etc.

Don't let yourself think sick. Take days off if you really need to to recouperate and not get other people sick. But if you start getting in the sick state of mind, it's going to bring you down.

Just remember, mind over matter.
27th-Nov-2006 03:44 pm (UTC)
it's good that you can recognise that you are getting sick again because you can stop it before it gets bad!! what did you do last time that helped you improve so much? is it just your living situation with your parents that is making your quality of life so lousy.

wish you could have a cool dad!

lots of hugs and thinking of you.
5th-Dec-2006 01:19 am (UTC)
Thanks a lot :)
(Deleted comment)
5th-Dec-2006 01:20 am (UTC)
Thanks, I'm tryin'!
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