Wow. School is about to start for a lot people. I miss school. When I was in school, I was afraid of coming home because I thought that my parents would push me over the edge, but they haven't...at least not yet. That's a good thing. I really don't wanna be here with my parents, but I kind of have no choice at the moment :-/.
Well, I have a job (thank goodness!) now, so that means more financial independence and more time away from this fucked up house. My mood's been better for the past few weeks :-). I believe that was because of the pain killers I was on though :-/. Anyway, I haven't been slacking at work due to depression or anxiety attacks, so that's a good sign. My weight is still a problem, but that's gonna take the back seat for a while.
I'm glad that my life isn't so tough right now. I'm glad that I didn't kill my father or cut myself to death or receive some type of abuse that I couldn't handle. I guess that's because my parents are just tired of me. That's good because I don't want them to concern themselves with my mental health problems at all. Yeah, they still suggest going to a community college this winter and not go to therapy nor take medication, but fuck them. I'm too damn old for that shit. If I want to do or not to do something, that's me, so they should just butt-out and leave me alone.
What's killing me now is finding a good psychologist. I've called serveral doctors, but um yeah...kind of a long story. Also, waiting for my health benefits to kick in is a bitch! I got six months! I really can't wait that long, and there are some health centers that won't take me without insurance. So yeah, that bites, but whatever. I'm not down with free therapy and stuff like that...I need a professional, period.
What am I to do in the meantime? Well, I have an appointment with my family doctor soon, so I'll tell her everything and ask her for her advise. Also, I've been doin' some writing therapy in my other journal (not the unwritten_song2
journal, but the another one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got three LJs, damnit! lol), it's private, and it's been helping a lot. I'm still jogging, but not as much since I'm working. I've bought two books and I'm reading one of them now, it's pretty good so far. I also want to continue taking my pain killers every 7-8hrs. again just so I could feel good, but I don't need to start another bad habit :-/. Hopefully, all of this will help me for the time being.